New research says family influence affects decision to divorce,Mothers had the greatest influence for both men and women.Six percent also say their children's feelings play a part

When it comes to choosing to leave your spouse it seems that parental influence can have a huge input on the decision. In fact, new research shows that almost two thirds of divorcees say their mother was the one who helped them decide to break up.

Sixty three per cent said their families had a baring on their decision to split - but it was mothers on both sides who had the greatest influence.

One in ten said their siblings prompted them to end the marriage while six per cent said their children's feelings played a part in helping them make a decision.

Sometimes things just don't work out. According to statistics 42% of marriages currently end in divorce

The research showed that the most common ways that families encourage their loved ones to consider ending their marriage were to highlight their partner's differences and criticise them.

But 67 per cent said they were glad their family let their opinions get heard as they highlighted that their marriage wasn't working and helped them to end it.

The research, which canvassed the attitudes of 2,007 divorced Brits, was commissioned by family law specialists Slater & Gordon.

Amanda McAlister, a divorce lawyer at the firm, said, 'Families tend to be bigger than ever before and are increasingly made up of children and relatives from previous relationships and as a result there is often more risk of tensions and interference from families on both sides.

'Often family members aren't interfering to cause problems but because they can see that a relationship isn't working and because they are trying to help their loved one face up to their relationship issues.

'We find that clients have often felt pressure from their family to end a relationship or felt isolated by their family because of their choice of partner or even felt ignored by the new family they have married in to.

'Early on in a relationship it is easier to ignore the opinions of those close to you but as time goes by this shows that couples who are finding marriage tough can often realise that mum was right about the problems in the relationship after all.

'At the end of the day your family do tend to know you better than anyone else and normally take an instant dislike to someone that they think isn't right for you.'

Mum's the word: Mothers are said to have the greatest influence on the decision of those planning to get a divorce

The majority of respondents said their partner's family had as much if not more of an impact on the relationship than their own family while 44 per cent admitted they had never got on with their ex partner's family.

Seventy four per cent complained that their ex-partner had always listened to their family more than them and a quarter said that they were completely ignored by their in-laws at times.

Three out of ten said they had been unhappy in their relationship for a while before their family convinced them to end it all while 38 per cent said that with hindsight they and their ex had always been poorly suited but they hadn't been able to see it at the time.

Ms McAlister added, 'This shows that when it comes to deciding whether to stay with your partner or not the advice you will get from your family is likely to be invaluable.

'But what we would say is that when it comes to negotiating the terms of your divorce and any financial settlement then you are much better placed confiding in someone independent to get a neutral view.

'Family can be a great support during a divorce but we advise clients to try and avoid bringing their family to see their solicitor or to court as this is when emotions need to be kept to a minimum.

'A divorce is an emotionally draining experience and families can make the legal process harder and even prolong litigation.'

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